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Six-month World Tour On Insignia

Now before you dismiss spending $40,000 on a cruise, at least give it a little thought. That’s the tab for the new Oceania around-the-world cruise on the Insignia, leaving in January 2017 and returning that July.

Come to think of it, has anybody seen a cruise longer than six months, anywhere? It seems that 180 days is the threshold that must not be broken. Perhaps after that passengers start making plans to do more than exchange Christmas cards. Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice — that sort of thing.

Oh yes, about the 40 grand…

If you’re a couple, that’s 80 grand. And for that price, you get an inside stateroom — the cheapest balcony is $53,000. Included are all taxes, round-trip first-class air fare from North American gateway cities to Miami and unlimited Internet. It doesn’t say gratuities are included but it wouldn’t be a surprise if they are. In visiting 98 cities in 36 countries, you have to figure there will be some additional costs, so maybe a more realistic tab is $45,000 to $50,000.

But about selling the concept to your better half…

From $80,000 for both of you, deduct all your car expenses for six months. If you can arrange to be between homes at the time (Baby Boomers can sometimes do that), or sublet your residence, deduct six months of rent or mortgage payments. Deduct ALL your meals, and wine, for 180 days. Reduce your entertainment budget drastically because there will be more than enough ship entertainment to fit into your busy schedule.

And did we mention that it includes "free medical" (that's what the fine print says)? Obamacare at sea?

You’ll go to six continents. By the time it’s over, there will be far less of the world for you to see, and maybe none that you want to see. it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. You do need to make certain that 180 days living our of a cabin without getting cabin fever — we were worried about 19 straight days on a ship but were sorry when we had to disembark.

Even with all of the “savings” from our daily lives, there’s still one more thing most of us should probably do…

Win the lotto.

Do that and you can upgrade. To the owner’s suite. It’s only $125,000 — per person.

And guess what?

There’s already a waiting list.

— Insignia photo by Bahnfrend (Wikimedia Commons)

In the news…

• Norwegian, Princess both leaving Houston by 2016-17 after four-year stay
• American Cruise Lines launches new river cruiser three weeks early
• Breaking Benjamin headlining Carnival Victory cruise in February

Today at portsandbows.com: Norwegian's Asian deployment

Holland America Zaandam
7 nights
September 13, 2015
Anchorage, Glacier Bay National Park, Haines, Juneau, Ketchikan, Vancouver
Inside: $747
Cost per day: $106
www.hollandamerica.com

Crui$e New$ That’s Cry$tal Clear

Somewhere between the end of the unbelievable third round of the British Open and watching our favorite baseball team lose yet another game yesterday, we got wind of a cruise news bulletin that is going to mean more to Brad Pitt, or Will and Kate, or Lebron James than it’s going to mean to the everyday avid cruiser.

Crystal Cruises is expanding in a way that will blow the lid off its part of the cruise world.

By adding three luxury ships, a river cruise line, the beginning of a yacht division and a private jetliner, Crystal is going to turn all-inclusivity into all-exclusivity. People like you (and us) won’t be going there until we win the lottery, and the last time we checked the Crystal Espritchances of that were 1 in 20 million or so.

If you buy a ticket.

Crystal has always been about luxury. Now it’s about super luxury. Or it will be when these new components start rolling off the assembly line between December and 2018. The 62-passenger Crystal Esprit yacht (left) will come first, complete with a two-person submarine and you can book now. The new ships are planned for 2017 and will be approximately twice the size of current luxury ships. 

The jetliner, reported to be at Boeing 787 Dreamliner, is also expected in 2017.

The name of the cruise line will be changing from what you are accustomed to hearing…to Crystal Cruises, Crystal Yacht Cruises, Crystal River Cruises and Crystal Air.

To give you an idea what the price points are, cruising on the new yacht will run you between $600 and $800 per person.

Per day.

What exactly is the Crystal market?

President and CEO Edie Rodriguez defined it like this for Gene Sloan at USA Today:

Our guest base is the top 2% of the world's wealthiest global consumers.”

So, about that lottery ticket…

Also in the news…

• Norwegian Star booked at Hong Kong port for January 2017
• Haimark Cruise Line approved to circumnavigate Cuba in February

Today at portsandbows.com: More on the Crystal announcement

Holland America Zaandam
7 nights
August 23, 2015
Vancouver, Ketchikan, Juneau, Skagway, Anchorage
Inside: $499
Cost per day: $71
www.hollandamerica.com

Brothers In Arms On Disney Ship?

 

This is about two brothers, born 13 months apart in the ’70s. 

The elder of the two became an advocate of Star Wars. Actually, advocacy is too weak a word. He became a Star Wars fanatic, to the point that to this day he still buys light sabers. Invite him to a masquerade party and he’ll find a Darth Vader costume.

The younger of the two went a slightly different direction, as brothers so close in age are wont to do. His passion became Disney…anything Disney. He grew up wishing upon stars, and even got a job at Disney World. There, he met his wife-to-be.

Despite their fanatical differences, today they are as close as two brothers living 1,500 miles apart can be. Next year, however, they may become even closer.

image001Star Wars is going on a Disney cruise.

Maybe they will, too.

When the Disney Dream emerges from dry-dock in October, it will have a Star Wars-themed area added to its Oceaneer Club, including its own Millennium Falcon. It’s for kids 3 to 12, so the elder brother may have a little trouble sneaking in but, hey, he does have a light saber. The refurbished Dream’s first cruise will be October 26 from Port Canaveral to the Bahamas.

There’s another Star Wars option (and likely more in the planning stages)…

For at least eight sailing in the first four months of 2016, there will be a Star Wars Day At Sea on the Disney Fantasy, during a one-week cruise to the Western Caribbean. Passengers will have the opportunity to experience The Force in a galaxy far far away, to meet characters like Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Darth himself, to participate in Stars Wars activities and to watch the only at-sea screenings of Episode VII. If you don’t known what Episode VII is, then you also don’t know anybody with December 18 blocked off on their movie calendars to be among the millions planning to watch the first on-land screening of what is this year’s most-anticipated big-screen event.

For the elder brother, the magnet at sea is Star Wars. For the younger…Disney Dream…Disney Fantasy…Disney anything.

Big Brother has an added incentive: He never did forgive his parents for selling his Millennium Falcon in a garage sale.

Today at portsandbows.com: The world's third-largest ship coming

Holland America Zaandam
17 nights
September 20, 2015
Vancouver, Honolulu, Nawiliwili, Lahaina, Kona, Hilo, San Diego
Inside: $1,899
Cost per day: $111
www.hollandamerica.com

New Threats To Cruise Passengers

This is one of those stories we don’t want to tell, and shouldn’t have to tell, but there is really no choice.

It’s about terrorists.

You know how your life has changed when boarding planes, with security personnel checking everything but the dirt under your fingernails? You know how when you’re walking the streets of a big city, or even a small town, you’re supposed to be aware not just of your surroundings but also the people who inhabit them? You know how in the interests of public safety, you have to be suspicious of virtually everybody?

Well, shipmates, get ready.

According to the Associated Press, would-be jihadists are booking tickets on cruise ships. They’re using ships to get them to Turkey, specifically, so they can join the battles in Syria and Iraq. The news surfaced at an Interpol conference this week in Monaco and the conclusion was for accelerated screening at transportation hubs…”airports and, more and more, cruise lines.”

The intelligentsia say that the terrorists, because they know it’s getting tougher for them to board planes, are taking to the seas. A statement from Cruise Lines International Association, to which almost all cruise lines belong, maintained that cruise-ship security is taken as seriously as airline security, and that passengers manifests are shared with U.S. authorities.

What is left unsaid is the threat that these unwelcome jihadists will use cruise ships for more than transportation…instead, as a final destination.

Either way, that terrorists are known to be boarding ships is dreadful news for the passengers, and for the industry.

Today at portsandbows.com: Closer look at Royal Caribbean's new ship

Holland America Zaandam
14 nights
December 8, 2014
Buenos Aires, Montevideo, Port Stanley, Punta Arenas, Ushuaia, Cape Horn, Sarmiento Canal, Chilean Fjords, Puerto Montt, Santiago
Inside: $599
Cost per day: $42
www.hollandamerica.com

Royal Caribbean And 'The Wine'

Okay, it’s time to whine about wine again.

As regular consumers, we once lugged 17 bottles back in luggage from Europe and were greeted by customs with “Welcome home” and no questions about wine. That was one of the times that we were lucky enough — and we always tell the truth when asked — to beat the system.

On cruise ships, a couple of times we’ve taken more than our quota on board and, while Vintagessometimes we’ve paid the corkage fee, sometimes we’ve been lucky, too. Consequently, we are owed nothing when it comes to taking more wine than is allowed — free.

So today we celebrate the success of “whining” for other passengers with similar taste.

Royal Caribbean’s rules — and every cruise line is different — were that two bottles could be taken on board, and were subject to a $25 corkage fee if they were consumed in public places. Such as restaurants, bars, by the pool, in the elevator…

That’s changed.

Although the change has not yet been made on Royal Caribbean’s website, the two bottles per stateroom can now be taken to a cruise ship restaurant, for dinner, and there’s no corkage. This “news” was broken by passengers and later confirmed by the cruise line. The same rules apply to champagne (750-ml bottles only, not magnums). And if it’s more than two bottles, they will be confiscated and returned on the last day of the cruise.

It’s not perfect, because perfect in our world would be allowing you to take as much as you want, and charging you corkage in the restaurants. At least then you can drink your own wine.

But this news is worthy of a toast!

Today at portsandbows.com: The latest in cruise news

Holland America Zaandam
14 nights
November 24, 2014
Santiago, Puerto Montt, Puerto Chabucu, Chilean Fjords, Strait of Magellan, Punta Arenas, Ushuaia, Cape Horn, Port Stanley, Montevideo, Buenos Aires
Inside: $799
Cost per day: $57
www.hollandamerica.com

 

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