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Dunn's River Falls: Been There… 


FALMOUTH, Jamaica — We knew that if we went to the most famous place in Jamaica bearing our name, and did what most people who go there do, that we’d be able to say triumphantly (yet one more time): “Been there, Dunn that.”

Dunns-signWe knew that if we did, indeed, climb Dunn’s River Falls (three and a half football fields long) it was entirely possible we’d spend the next three days in a horizontal position on Allure of the Seas, which isn’t a bad place to spend three days horizontally, or even vertically.

And we knew that skipping the journey up the Falls would bring into question our age, or at least our courage.

Everybody on our tour bus was going to cool off at this Jamaican hotspot because it’s the No. 1 tourist attraction in the country, or because it looked like fun, or because maybe they’d had a little too much rum, mon, and weren’t thinking straight.

We went because of our heritage.

Dunns-guideHow could somebody named Dunn go to Jamaica for the first time and not visit Dunn’s River Falls, a short bus ride from the port of Falmouth? Maybe we’d find a distance relative or, better yet, that we were entitled to some royalties that had accrued over the years in our name. Or at least a free drink.

All that really happened was that we spent a couple of pleasant, humid hours watching other people as they tried to make their way on the slippery rocks, wearing water-friendly shoes and holding hands with strangers who may or may not have been on their bus. It occurred to us that it might have been interesting, and certainly prettier, to observe the Falls if the rocks were not dripping with humanity but this, folks, is a tourist attraction in every sense of the word.

There are line-ups to pay $20 to get in, unless you’re on a shore excursion from a cruise ship, in which case your guide (thank you, Carsha Haye) knows how to get around the lines. There are places to eat and rink, there are the inevitable souvenir shops and there’s even a young Jamaican making a buck by using your camera Dunns-Dunnsto take your picture with the Falls as a back-drop (thank you, mon). And if you’re traversing the pools of water and not just watching, videos of your experience are recorded for sale (about $40).

Conservatively, this place handles thousands of tourists a day, every day, as long as there are no monsoons or hurricanes in the neighborhood. It’s a money machine for Jamaica and treated with the respect that all such money machines are treated. That means it’s clean, friendly and a happy place to visit.

Always by people who hope that when they reach the top of Dunn’s River Falls, they’d be able to raise their hands and say…

“Done that!”

Take it from us…saying “Dunn that” gets old after a while.

Today at portsandbows.com: River ship explosion continues

Celebrity Millennium
14 nights
September 28, 201
Tokyo, Mount Fuji, Kyoto, Jeju Island, Seoul, Tianjin, Shanghai
Inside: $899
Cost per day: $64


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