After a week on the nicest cruise ship we’ve ever been on, the Norwegian Epic, you’d think we’d know it stem to stern…or at least bow to stern. We don’t, but we did find a few spots 
on the ship not to be missed, if an Epic cruise happens to be on your travel itinerary.
One is the Garden Cafe, and not because of the food, which is at least commendable and probably closer to exceptional, especially for a buffet. We liked the Garden Cafe because there’s a special part of it, right in the front, where you can see pretty much what Captain Trygve Vorren and his crew see from the bridge. We took this photo from the Garden Cafe as we left Miami last week — through the glass.
In a way, it’s a better view than Captain Vorren has, because the Garden Cafe is two decks higher than where he is.
The other gem on the ship is at the back…oops, we mean it’s “aft.” It’s called Spice H2O, as in the scientific acronym for water. It’s an area for adults only, but that’s not the reason we liked it. There a small private pool, a small private hot tub, a couple of places where you can get small refreshments (liquid and otherwise) and the 
most magnificent TV screen we’ve seen. The lawn chairs are staggered from the deck, and you feel like you’re in an amphitheater. The view is spectacular and most of the time, nobody’s there.
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When the Epic goes to Europe in the spring, after a winter of 7-day alternating cruises to the Eastern and Western Caribbean, it will be based in Barcelona. That presents a small problem for the cruise director. He or she has to be quick-witted in more than one language.
Norwegian has about 18 cruise directors for its current roster of 11 ships, and the Epic requires two. When one is on the ship, the other’s on vacation, and if you’ve ever watched a cruise director in action — 24/7 — you know why frequent vacations are necessary. There may not be two on the roster who fit the Barcelona job description.
Three years ago, NCL had the perfect guy. We knew him only as “Andrea the cruise director” from Italy. He was on the Sun, as we were for 19 days. All cruise directors are fast on their feet and glib-tongued, but what made him different was that he could do it in several languages (at least five). Not only that, he would change language in mid-sentence without missing a beat, punctuating almost everything he said with “Ciao-ciao.”
Alas, Andrea has gone…on to better things, no doubt. If the Epic still needs that multi-lingual cruise director, the head hunters should send out a search party.
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There are three bowling alleys on the Epic. There are three lanes for 10-pin aficionados in the middle of the ship, adjacent to O’Sheehan’s Pub, and three at the front, next to a lounge called Bliss.
The third “bowling alley” comes and goes, on the gigantic indoor screen where Wii games are played during the day. Bowling, 10 pins to 1,000 pins, is the most popular game being played.
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O’Sheehan’s is unique to the Epic. Pub walls are always gathering places for unusual photos and memorabilia. On the walls of O’Sheehan’s, the collection is eclectic to say the least. One photo is of Mickey Mantle and Joe DiMaggio, and another is of the Duryea Ladies Bowling League champions (?). There’s one of Marilyn Monroe, and another of a TV weatherwoman from the past — no name, no station. There’s a copy of the American Constitution, and a letter addressed to C. R. Dick in Galveston.
These are conversation starters in a pub. But…Pete’s Bowling Team, NYC?
On O’Sheehan’s menu are five fun Irish questions: 1. What happens when you kiss the Blarney Stone? 2. Where is the Blarney Stone? 3. What does “Erin Go Bragh” mean? 4. What is a leprechaun’s profession? 5. Where is the leprechaun’s pot of gold?
If we knew the answers, we’d be able to tell you how we scored — by guessing.
The right price………………………………………….………………………$329
December 12, 2010: 7-days on the Norwegian Jewel
Departure: New York round-trip to Bahamas Bonus: Balcony $479, Suite $599
Contact: Norwegian Cruise Lines 1-866-234-7350
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That’s it, we’re done.