Many years ago, on a visit to the vet with our brother-in-law and his dog, we noticed a brochure on the counter advertising "pet insurance." We laughed at the prospect of needing such an unnecessary and frivolous expense. In the succeeding years of 
mounting veterinary bills in both households, the laughing ceased.
So it is today that we refuse to mock dogs and cruises. Instead, we shall only report…
That Cunard has a kennel program (or "programme") for pets on the Queen Mary 2, which means that pets can cruise across the Atlantic from New York to Southampton or vice-versa.
That the dogs are not allowed in any guest area of the ship.
That there is a full-time kennel master who will feed, walk and…you know, clean up after the pets.
That the animals will receive a complimentary gift pack.
That visitation is allowed during the day, enabling the owners to feed, walk and, you know…
That there is only room for 12 "spacious" kennels.
That the dogs and cats must be in possession of a "pet passport."
The cost? Given our history, does it really matter?
Today at Phil Reimer's portsandbows.com: Cruise news, views and gossip
Carnival Conquest
7 nights
August 24, 2014
Miami (return): Cozumel, Belize, Roatan, Costa Maya
Balcony: $559
Cost per day: $79
www.carnival.com