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Quotes From The Boat

AT SEA ON THE CELEBRITY MILLENNIUM — Heard in passing on the way to Mexico:
* * *
During an explanation of how excess food is recycled into the ocean for whatever fish were passing by, one cruiser quipped: “Let’s see. We feed the fish. We catch the fish. We eat the fish. So really, we’re just feeding ourselves.”
Food and Beverage Manager Duarte da Silva put it another way:
“There’s just one big whale following us.”
* * *
Captain Zisis Taramas, a 25-year-veteran of cruise shipping, was asked a question about the Millennium that even he couldn’t answer.
“How do you get those little night lights in the toilets?”
One of his staffers supplied the answer, which wasn’t nearly as humorous as the question.
* * *
A veteran cruise couple was riding down the elevator for dinner.
“We’re lying to ourselves again,” he said, as we stepped into the elevator. “THIS time, we’re going to just eat salads.”
* * *
One Canadian couple, when the subject of ages came up at a lunch table, analyzed it this way:
“Together, we’re 162.”
* * *
Some cruise passengers are way too technical for us. For example, somebody who had nothing better to do noticed that the Millennium refueled in Colombia, leading to a series of questions and answers about fuel consumption on the seas.
Cruise Director Rich Clesen put an exclamation point on the discussion.
“You may notice there are no gas stations out here,” he said, “except maybe a shell.”
* * *
On one of his many stays in Panama, Dr. James Karr of the Smithsonian Institution caught some rare bird, the name of which we quickly forgot, and tagged it.
“Eighteen years later,” he said, “in exactly the same place, I caught the same bird.”
Dr. Karr didn’t say if the bird recognized him.
* * *
One more from the “tekkies only” department…
A passenger identified himself as being fluent in airplane navigation procedures and asked the captain to tell him some of the differences between that and ship navigation procedures. Without missing a beat, Captain Taramas said:
“We don’t worry about what’s under us.”
* * *
That’s it…we’re done.

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