There must be something in our lineage that connects us to seaports because we might be the only worldly (?) travelers around who raved about visiting Liverpool and Marseilles, port cities that tourists love to hate. So we read with a certain wistfulness — if anybody dares to read with wistfulness the ramblings of Carnival Cruise Director John Heald — that the Queen Victoria cruised into the British port this week to mark the 170th anniversary of Cunard’s first sailing from Liverpool.
In his daily blog, Mr. Heald usually takes a long time to say something and periodically fails to do so, while engaging his six million readers by being funny, inarticulate, clever, potty, entertaining and a list of other adverbs too long to fit this space. His coverage of the historic event in Liverpool lasted 3,968 words, including the ones that aren’t, and this little fact is relevant only if you thought blogs are supposed to be short.
In his bizarre but thoroughly compelling account, which can be read in entirety (yes, we did) on his blog, Heald provided some cruise or cruise-ship or people gems:
“The thought that people who could probably not have the funds to experience a Cunard voyage couldn’t derive any pleasure from seeing the Queen Victoria arrive is wrong. Because they do. They are the ones on the pier…pointing [in the rain]…smiling and saying ‘Look at that!'”
“It is remarkable that in the torrent of death that plagued ocean travel in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries that Cunard did not lose a single passenger until 1915.”
“…we boarded the ship to the sound of a local Ucayali band playing Beatles songs…I am not sure if you know what a Ucayali is but if you don’t it’s like a guitar that has been shrunk in the wash. You haven’t truly heard the music of John, Paul, George and Ringo until you have heard their music played on 12 Ucayalis.”
Or, ukeleles.
The star of the day, believe it or not, was the Duchess of Cornwall, otherwise known as the Queen Mary’s (the boat) Godmother or as simply “Camilla” — Mrs. Prince Charles. The encounter between her and John Heald…that alone makes this blog worth reading. Even if you don’t like Liverpool.
Besides, six million people can’t be wrong, can they?