In our family we have three children (six, counting spouses) and, to the best of our knowledge, two tattoos. One is visible. One (or more?) is not. The point is we are anything but experts when it comes to tattooing and, while we’re not anti-tattoo, nor are we advocates.
Yet today, we write about tattoos.
Since life is stranger than fiction, and since cruising is part of life, it is impossible for us to ignore the latest in theme cruises. You got it. Next April, a tattoo cruise on Royal 
Caribbean’s Liberty of the Seas (above)…and the cruise is cleverly called Ink or Swim, which beats the alternative.
The organizers may never get the attention of the folks at Guinness, but this goes into the record book as the first tattoo-themed cruise — at least the first that didn’t involve marching bands and the military. In case you’re not old enough, military tattoos march to the beat of a different drum.
The cruise is four days long, sufficient time to ink every body part that can be inked — is there somewhere that can’t? — if that’s what you have in mind. Better yet, you can be tattooed in the comfort of the Caribbean Sea, because Liberty will sail from Fort Lauderdale to Cozumel and back, with no stops in between…turning port time into tattoo time.
At Tattoo Alley, the ship’s body art center, will be some of the most famous artists around. 
People like the “sexy” Tatu Baby (left), the “Wyld Child” Sarah Miller, “surfer/philanthropist” Mark Longenecker (right), the “gothic princess” Amy Nicoletto and 
“bad boy” Chris Torres. No, we didn’t know of them, either. There are more details at the Ink or Swim website, where you can also sign up to get “inked by a master” and to pay $970 (minimum) for the theme-cruise and all its activities, which includes $100-$150 towards your (first) tattoo.
How much do tattoos cost?
A quick Internet check produced this line: “In the world of tattoo, the high price is the indication of the best quality. Tattoo artists can charge you $30-$250.”
So for the big spender, that could be $1,220 for an inside room on a 4-day Caribbean Ink or Swim cruise.
On Royal Caribbean’s website, inside rooms on that cruise start at $549.
But there is no explaining tattoo people, is there?
Today at portsandbows.com: The latest in cruise news
Carnival Fascination
5 nights
November 17, 2014
Jacksonville (return): Nassau, Freeport
Inside: $179
Cost per day: $35
www.carnival.com