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Look Out below: Gadgets Falling

Remember when environmentalists carped when people were hitting golf balls off the deck of cruise ships because of their impact on urchins and plant life of the sea?

That problem has been eradicated by netting, but another one has arisen.

It seems that cruise-ship passengers have dropsy, butter fingers or too much alcohol. According to a survey conducted by an online cruise agent in Great Britain (www.bonvoyage.co.uk), they are making significant deposits in "Davy Jones' Locker."

This is what a poll of more than 1,100 passengers discovered:

• 41 per cent dropped a cel phone into the waters below

• 38 per cent mistakenly thought their cameras were for underwater photography

• 32 per cent had MP3 players that are now into music of the deep

• 29 per cent are Kindle-less

• 26 per cent deposited game consoles

Jamey Bergman, who writes a blog for the UK version of Cruise Critic, estimates the value of all those gizmos is more than $26 million.

Any way you look at it, that's a lot of golf balls.

Carnival Destiny
18 nights
February 4, 2013
Miami, Malaga, Barcelona, Livorno, Rome, Venice
Inside: $499
Cost per day: $28

Relax…Princess Poll a Big Help

Yesterday was supposed to be “relaxation day” in our household, because that’s usually what Sundays are…and then we let Keegan Bradley and Jason Dufner into our living room. If you watched their three-hole playoff at the PGA Championship, you know why relaxing wasn’t on the agenda.

Today, however, is National Relaxation Day, and a survey conducted for Princess Cruise Lines has determined that 75 per cent of Americans would like to see it become an official U.S. holiday.

To which we say: “What’s wrong with the other 25?”

The survey is the second annual “relaxation report” Princess has commissioned, because like all cruise lines it’s in the business of helping people relax. It was more detailed than it’s going to be here, but parts of it make for especially interesting reading…or debate. Like, what would you say?

Such as:
• 25 per cent of respondents have never had a relaxing vacation (they need to take a cruise)

• 75 per cent feel guilty about leaving their kids at home and 50 per cent say it’s not a perfect vacation unless they do (we’re not going to touch that one)

• The most relaxed TV news anchors are Diane Sawyer, Matt Lauer and Anderson Cooper, in that order (what ever happened to Aaron Brown?)

• 45 per cent think a week-long vacation is more likely to reduce stress than increments of time every day (duh!)

To recognize National Relaxation Day, Princess is giving its employees complimentary yoga classes and changing today’s dress code to “summer fun”, which we would have done yesterday.

Then golf got in the way.

Clip Art courtesy About.com

Aye, It's Talk-Like-A-Pirate Time!

In my youth, my only association with pirates was seeing Captain Hook in the Disney movie Peter Pan, and I didn’t care much for either Hook or Peter, the geek who flew around in tights. So here I am, x years later, trapped in a world of pirates.

Two of my three children are eagerly anticipating Sunday, or “International Talk Like A Pirate Day” (every September 19). I should add these are adult children. My wife, who has one eye so sensitive to light she should be wearing a patch over it, has a mild obsession (oxymoron) with Jimmy Buffett, who sings about pirates when he isn’t singing about margaritas.

Whose idea do you think THAT picture on the right was? The phone conversation between mother and sons on Sunday will be of a world with which I am unfamiliar.

And, my next-door neighbor, a great guy of unbelievable skills, has a hook where one of his hands used to be and he has my never-ending admiration. It’s just that he reminds me — and my granddaughter — of the Captain.

And now this.

A survey commissioned by the Passenger Shipping Association of Britain wanted cruise ship passengers to identify which celebrity they would most like to share a cabin with (after their spouse or partner, of course) and half of them — we are assuming “them” are female passengers — chose Johnny Depp and the other half chose Jack Sparrow.

Okay, I embellish. They actually chose Jack Sparrow for their Captain’s Dinner on the last night of a cruise, but it makes for a better blog because Johnny and Jack are the same person…or pirate.

The men in the survey chose Jennifer Aniston, who could never look like a pirate.

Where would my vote have gone? Well, as I said, I’m not crazy about pirates.

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